It was just a joke

What the things you had to laugh off leave behind

You were uncomfortable, but you laughed. In that moment you wondered if you were being too sensitive.

"It was just a joke." "You're taking it that way?" "You really have no sense of humor."

When you hear lines like these, the uncomfortable one ends up apologizing instead. Because it starts to feel like you're the sensitive one.

But a joke is only a joke when the other person laughs too. If one side laughs and the other is uncomfortable, that may not be a joke. It may be something else.

Especially when it repeats. Same kinds of subjects, same kind of delivery, same kind of timing. And when you say you're uncomfortable, you get back "can't you take a joke?"

The more this pattern repeats, the more you gradually stop expressing discomfort at all. Because speaking up turns you into the sensitive one anyway.

But think about it: between the one who keeps saying things that make others uncomfortable, and the one who says they're uncomfortable, which one is actually the problem? It's pretty clear.

The things you laughed off — were they really funny?